The Affects Lies Can Cause To Relationships English Literature Essay

There are people that live in their own world of lies, and even though they are conscious of this they are not willing to accept this, we prefer to live in a world of lies because this comforts us it makes us feel better. This is something negative because it only harms people by not accepting its reality.

To many people this is a coward solution to the problems, sadly in many occasions it is too late when you try and fix the lies which you have told or created. As time passes this can develop to be an illness. But if the person is not treated on time, it can bring many consequences. These consequences will not only affect the person but the society. But the one that will be more harmed from this situation is the person that has to live with this illness.

When people get accustomed or lie as something normal and natural, this becomes alarming because now you are a compulsive liar. A compulsive liar can invent many things, and not be aware of the damage that he or she is doing to her family or the society. A way of harming the family with lies is when you have a problem and don’t tell them the truth of what is happening. In order to comfort this person invents things that knows will stop worrying the family. But eventually the lie will be discovered and this is even worst.

When people live in a world of lies they tend to commit the same errors over and over. Sometimes it is not easy to recognize if people are innocent or just lying. But at the same time these type of people do not know how to recognize when they are lying or when they are telling the truth. And this is a form in which lies effect society. A perfect example of this are the politicians, when they are in campaign looking for people’s vote they say lies naturally without even thinking. When they give their speech they do not even know what they are saying or the things they are promising they use the resource of lying in order to achieve their goal. Something that is very silly is when they go to the small communities and tell everyone to ask for whatever they want “I promise you that if I get elected I will accomplish all the promised” ( Girl Interrupted, pp. 35).

People that are still ignorant believe them and start asking for things like cars, money, houses, roads, and etc. The politician will obviously say granted, his answer will come out spontaneous and later own he will not even remember the name of neither the community he visited nor the promises he made. But to this person lying is something he does easily and it comes out quite naturally and what is even worse is that the society believes the lies. These types of politicians are pointed out; society already knows that they are liars. But something awkward happens when people fall for their campaign promises and at the end vote for the same politician that has been lying to them.

But like every negative there are things that are positive. There are white lies that do no harm to others for example when they invent things to the children. Adults have created a lot of lies in order to comfort or motivate children. These lies are not bad, for example if a child believes in Santa clause, tooth fairy and the boogy monster this does not affect them until certain age. White lies should not last forever they should be only for a certain period of time or until the child feels matures and can handle the truth. When a child has certain age their parents explain to them that there is no Santa clause, tooth fairy nor bogy monster. After the child knows this he is conscious and accepts this, he reacts in a positive form. And when the child grows up he will do the same with his children, this is a pattern that repeats generation after generation and as mentioned before there is no harm.

Another type of lies or the one that are used as tools in order to progress. This progress can be in the professional area. When you want to work in a big company but they ask for many requirements that you do not have, in order to get the job you recur to lying. Telling everyone, that you are capable of doing the job when you are not, if your boss finds about this you will be fired immediately. This is why we know that there is no lie that can last forever. This is a lie that can be seen as a negative, because you are putting your life in danger as well as your collaborators when you are not capable of doing the job

In school we also find lies that are used to progress. This is seen many times when people plagiaries the work of others. But plagiarism is the only form of lying, when you copy at an exam. You are lying to the teacher and to yourself, when you receive the grade and you see that it is a 10. You know that you do not deserve that grade because you did not use your answers; you have also lied to the teacher because the teacher might think you are a smart student when you are not.

When you are in a relationship and there is no confidence, the only way of communicating with your partner is with lies. In this case the lie represents lack of courage. When one of the persons is no longer comfortable with the relationship, this person is not honest. When he starts changing his behavior he will always have an excuse for not being with his couple rather than telling them the truth about its feeling. Or another thing that is usual is when they fall in love with another person and they go out or start a new relationship. They always recur to lies, like for example no I am not dating another person or yes I still love. These lies only cause more pain and false illusions.

The most common type of lies in a couple is the one when one of them is seeing another person, but doesn’t tell the other one about the other. In these cases we see a man or a woman dating to people. In extreme cases they are married or living with two people, they have two houses and two families. For a woman this is the worst lie a man can tell them. With this lie they demonstrate that there is no confidence in the relation, and that the man is an unfaithful person. She then realizes that she has lived a lie and that she doesn’t know the person whom she thought loved.

And last what is more important about lies is that they are imitated. Adults have the responsibility to educate children and give them good examples. Teach them to difference between lies and white lies. And what is most significantly is that they should teach their children to not use lies as an easy way out of the problems.

After the brief introduction about my topic, it is important to talk about the books that I will compare and contrast. The first book that I choose is pilot’s wife. The pilot’s wife is a book that is generated from the lie. One of the main themes is the lie. Many of the characters in this book have lived lies to. The lies that have been told are bad one that dramatically changed lives. Because it not easy to know that you have been lied to most port of your life.

When Kathryn discovers jack’s lie, she feels very sad and at the same time betrayed. Up to that situation she thought she really knew her husband. She could not understand why jack had lie and how could he have done this for many years.

From the moment she discovers the lie, she decides to go out and search for the truth; she wants to know who her husband really was. She also wants to know the real conditions in which her husband died. She did not believe the lie that was told to her, she refuse to think that her husband had committed suicide or that it was an accident.

The lie that the news and media was handling is a very unconscious lie. Because the people who start talking about this as a suicide do not realize that jack has a family. They do not care about the reaction that his family might have. To come home from school on day and find out that you father has committed suicide is some that hearts, the first thing that comes to mind is that he was an unhappy person, that he had many problems and could not share them with his family.

But luckily his daughter did not believe what she heard; she really knew her father and also knew that he was not capable of doing something like that. But the lie from the news was believed by the rest of the people, now the family had to live with this version of how jack died.

In the story jack was also lied to, his crew member did not tell him exactly what was in the plane. This is the type of lie that is told without think of the consequence. The people who put the explosive did not think that it was dangerous and that the people who were aboard had families or the tragedy this might cause.

In this book we only find negative lies. Lies that only harm people or that are to painful to accept. Anita shrive reflects in her book some of the common lies that are present in our society. In our modern society it is very common to see men with two wives, men who are constantly cheating on their wives, marriages that are based or constructed upon lies and nothing more but lies.

Many things could have been prevented in the story if only jack would have been honest to Kathryn; he could have also told her the truth about his mother that was not dead. At the end of the book Kathryn realizes that her marriage is a lie, that she doesn’t even know to whom she was married. And they also realize how powerful a lie can be. For example the impact that the news that jack had committed suicide had, this was upon society

The second book I considered for this essay is girl interrupted, this book talks about a group of girls that are hospitalized because they have mental problems. these girls do not know how to difference reality from fiction. For example Susana the person who is narrating the book has a problem with time. She is not conscious of time, this is something that helps her create her own world, she doesn’t know in which day she lives, this is from the calendar that everyone follows. But she has her own form of seeing things or waiting for time to progress. Even though this is a little problem when she goes to her appointment with the doctor, because he asks her to narrate the events or actions she did during the day or the time she spent doing these events. In occasion she feels like they are stealing her time or things like that.

She is living in a lie but this lie doesn’t affect her. If she is not conscious of the time it is not important because she lives in the hospital. In the hospital they have nurses who are constantly reminding the patients that it is time to eat or do activities. Even though the doctors want to break the bubble in which she lives she doesn’t care if she is lied to or is she is lying. She is not conscious and only thinks in the present in the actions she is doing. The actions in the past and in the future are not important for her environment, or the environment she choose to create.

These girls all make up stories about themselves and why they are recluted in the mental hospital. If they lie to each other this is not something that will dramatically change their lives. These are lies that are innocent in a sort of way, for example the girl that invents she is going out with one of the male nurses, and then invents thing about the other boy, that he was under mission and that his father was a very important person. These lies are not relevant because they are told within their little circle of friends. But on the other hand if these lies would have been told in different circumstances they would have had a negative impact. Similar to the lie that was told about jack and his death, these examples or to demonstrate that a lie can have different impacts it just depends on who is telling them and to whom it is told.

There are girls who are conscious of there lies but tell them because that why they feel secure. Daysi is one these girls, she is very hermetic and doesn’t tell anyone about her life and does not like people to visit her room. Because she has thing in it that she does not want other to see. Or when she started bragging everyone about the apartment that her father bought her, she told the other girls that it was a gift because her father loved her. But she never told the girls that true relation she had with her father, she to lived a lie when she didn’t understand that her father did not see her a his daughter but as a lover. The bad thing about the lie she had told her friends is that when they discovered the truth she felt ashamed that she decided to commit suicide. She did not handle that her friends knew the truth to her, she thought they will make fun of her or critique her.

When the real reasons of why daisy’s father had bought her an apartment came out. Everyone understand better daisy, they also found it incredible that her father had sexual relationships with her. This was a lie that didn’t help daisy and the contrary it made her feel even worse. To some people they feel relieved when they tell the truth, they feel free because know they can show their true self, but to daisy this was not the case.

“Was I ever crazy? Maybe. Or maybe life is… Crazy isn’t being broken or swallowing a dark secret. It’s you or me amplified. If you ever told a lie and enjoyed it. If you ever wished you could be a child forever. They were not perfect, but they were my friends and by the ’70s, most of them were out living lives. Some I’ve seen, some never again, but there isn’t a day my heart doesn’t find them” (Girl Interrupted, pp. 40) this quote shows us that indeed Susanne is an innocent person and that her lies harm no one. She is still like a child and therefore has the same mentality; she can harm no one but herself.

After analyzing both books it is important to point out that lies are bad things and that should be avoided at all because, the effects that they have should be mediated. Jack never thought of the side effects his little adventure had, as well as he never thought his wife would discover everything. If only jack would have been honest with his wife, he would have prevented the uncomfortable situation that Kathryn had to pass. Kathryn could not digest the information when she went to see the other women and she had told her that she had and her husband were in love and had a happy life. But then again Kathryn has to lie in this situation; she never tells the other woman that she was jack’s wife. Kathryn’s lie was bad even though she tried to justify herself and saw it as something good; she is only going to cause the same pain jack cause to her.

In occasions it is better to be lied to, it helps you in your life, and it also helps you be more comfortable in the situation in which you are. These lies are compared to the ones that are told to children, they do not harm other. The girls that are in the hospital are passing through the same situation. They all have created their small community, they have and established routine as well as roles, and for example which one of them is the leader. The lies that they have about their world and the outside world mean no harm to them, if Susanne doesn’t know in which day she lives it has no repercussions since she doesn’t have to go to work or school.

Lisa is the one that tells many lies but these lies are only to keep her role in the group, Lisa is the leader because she is the one that has more experience or so she tells everyone. Because no one can really prove if what Lisa says is true or a lie. But it is not really relevant to prove that Lisa is lying because it does not affect their life.

And finally after analyzing and comparing it is clear that lies are very powerful and at the same time useless, the impact of lies depends on the person that is telling the lie and on the person that believes the lie. It is important to be careful to what we say or to whom we say it to.